Professionally ignore people with style.

Thanks for your note. My inbox and I are taking some time apart. I am out for parental leave, where the escalation path is usually crying. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you and destiny. I will get back to you once my out-of-office era concludes. For anything urgent, contact the duty manager or supervisor on shift. Appreciate your patience while I remain gloriously unavailable.