Professionally ignore people with style.

Thanks for your note. My inbox and I are taking some time apart. I am on parental leave and measuring time in bottles, snacks, and chaos. Please reserve escalations for situations involving real downtime or executive panic. A delayed answer is coming once I clock back into reality. For urgent technical issues, use the on-call process instead of summoning me from the void. Thank you for supporting this temporary era of avoidance.