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Thank you for your email. I will be ignoring it on a delay. I am away on medical leave and pretending soup is a strategy. Please treat most business escalations as suspicious until proven urgent. I will reply after I am back, despite the current enthusiasm for immediacy. If the issue cannot wait, contact the on-call lead or team alias. Thank you for your measured response to my unavailability.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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