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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am temporarily unavailable while the household schedule is run by naps. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. I plan to answer later, assuming the universe keeps me on the payroll. For immediate assistance, speak with the shift supervisor. Your patience is doing dangerous heavy lifting right now.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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