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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am temporarily unavailable and spiritually on airplane mode. I am resting and letting every notification fight for second place. The freelance economy will continue to be weird without my immediate participation. I will circle back after my absence and at least two coffees. If this cannot wait, use the pre-arranged urgent route rather than hopeful emailing. Thank you for supporting this temporary era of avoidance.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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