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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am temporarily unavailable while the household schedule is run by naps. Please reserve escalations for situations involving real downtime or executive panic. I plan to answer later, assuming the universe keeps me on the payroll. Anything urgent belongs with the on-call rotation, not my vacation conscience. Best of luck to everyone involved, frankly.
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