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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am at an event where every hallway conversation became a calendar liability. If this is a hotfix, please make sure it is not actually room-temperature confusion. I expect to respond after I drag myself back into operational range. Anything urgent belongs with the on-call rotation, not my vacation conscience. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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