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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am out for sick leave and prioritizing recovery over keyboard performance and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Stakeholders, approvals, and deck revisions can continue orbiting without my live narration. I will answer once I have finished fistfighting the timeline and won enough to type. If this truly cannot wait, please locate the least alarmed stakeholder in the room. Do not improvise a sixth emergency just because mine looks entertaining.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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