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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am not at my desk and neither is my sense of restraint. I am taking recovery time instead of pretending a calendar block fixes everything. Budget drama, calendar gymnastics, and status updates may proceed without me. I expect to respond after I drag myself back into operational range. If this truly cannot wait, please contact the assigned backup. Please direct any further confusion into a neat little pile.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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