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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am currently out of office and refusing to pretend otherwise. I am conference-bound and temporarily loyal to a badge scanner. Any issue marked critical should be critical in a way that could survive screenshots. I will get back to you once my out-of-office era concludes. If this is urgent, notify the engineering lead or the incident channel. Thank you for supporting this temporary era of avoidance.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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