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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am currently out of office and refusing to pretend otherwise. I am away at an event where everyone is networking with alarming sincerity. Please reserve escalations for situations involving real downtime or executive panic. A response will appear after I stumble back into professional society. If this is urgent, notify the engineering lead or the incident channel. Appreciate your patience while I remain gloriously unavailable.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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