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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am away from work and thriving irresponsibly. I am temporarily unavailable while the household schedule is run by naps. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. You can expect a reply after I finish avoiding notifications recreationally. For immediate assistance, speak with the shift supervisor. Please enjoy this delay as a character-building exercise.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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