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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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I am away from my desk and unable to indulge immediate expectations. I am away speaking, listening, or pretending to enjoy panel discussions. If the server is merely weird, not broken, let it marinate. A delayed answer is forthcoming once timing becomes less ridiculous. For incidents, follow the documented escalation path and spare the heroics. Your patience during my absence is both necessary and appreciated.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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