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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am away for a general absence that does not require a dramatic press release while reality reorganizes my desk into folklore. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong with the on-call humans, not my absence. I will respond when the hallway stops echoing with actionable nonsense. If something is actually burning, page the on-call team before emailing the void again. The pigeons have already reviewed the fallback plan.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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