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Professionally ignore people with style.
Congratulations, you reached me at the exact wrong moment. I am traveling, offline, and emotionally unavailable to workflows. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you and destiny. I will answer later, ideally before this turns into folklore. For anything urgent, contact the duty manager or supervisor on shift. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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